We want the public to know that we have the situation under control. After several days of brainstorming we now have four fool-proof plans that will undoubtedly catch this fiend in short order. I think everyone agrees that the sooner we can fill him with bullets and shut his yapper the sooner we can all go back to our normal day to day law abiding activities. More

Breaking up is hard to do. It does not matter if you are being dumped or dumping somebody else, the situation sucks. Through the years some tried and true methods for lessening the blow have stood the test of time, but at some point you just have to ask yourself: what are they really saying? More

Here at the Boy Scouts of America we admit to a slight one hundred and two year lapse when it comes to keeping perverts out of leadership positions. As a part of our efforts to improve this minor oversight we have developed a rigorous screening process to weed out potential troublemakers. More

If you are just joining us, welecome! Things are winding down and we are left with this final, all important exchange of ideas. Let's join the action... More

Another election year is upon us. Yes, it does make me want to gag, but it's happening so I'm just going to try and roll with it. Instead of hiding in the basement until November, this year I decided it's time to really dig into the bullshit and ferret out a few corn kernels of truth (even though I know all too well how much crap ends up under my fingernails). Listen up people: This post is eleventy steps past fact checking. This is the Universal Translator - Political Edition. More

The force is a fickle master. It saturates the few with incredible power. It abandons the masses and leaves them limp upon the world. With luck gifted younglings find their way to the Jedi order. They learn to control the force, to keep it from the dark side. Also please ring twice if your contractions start to get more frequent or you start spotting on the sheets. More

A lot of extremist left wing propaganda machines have been working overtime since my convention speech, claiming I somehow stretched the truth when I laid bare the Facts ® about the president. I'm here to tell you that not only was every word of my presentation verifiable, but get this: I held back on the really good dirt, just in case the liberal media falsely attacked me like a pack of rabid dogs high on cocaine they bought with fraudulent welfare checks. More

Grunter is more than a new social network communication API web 3.0 paradigm template. Grunter is the new. The sun is setting on Twitter, and Grunter is that sun. Grunter changes what it means to change. Then it changes. Grunter redefines language, communication, society, and civilization. Forever. More

Now is the time. Never at any moment in the entire history of the universe has now been a better time. To buy real estate that is! House prices have bottomed out and interest rates, manipulated or otherwise, are at all time lows. I can hear your thoughts: "But Enoni, where can I find the house of my dreams?" This is why, just for you, I created this post. Also please stop thinking about sloths. It's freaking me out. More

I wrote a blog post. I called it "Relish". Like all written material I produce a group of doctors had to review it before it could be deemed safe for public consumption. OK, I'll admit I'm exaggerating, some of them are PHD students. Regardless I wrote a blog post, and "Dr. Team" did not approve. It really is a shame because I think you would have enjoyed reading it. Luckily I found a loophole. More

What the hell is up Internets!? I don't know about you but I am so sick of libs ruining this country that I am ready to rock the fucking White House harder than a Night Ranger guitar solo! I know what you are thinking: "Fuck yeah the Nuge! You could own DC! Lets blaze this shit all the way!". What I am thinking is that what you are thinking is so friggen right on dude! Nuge! More

If you are like me (highly unlikely) then you run Linux on all your computers. Mostly because you are a genius (you aren't), and because you give a shit about the freedom of intellectual property (you don't). There is only one problem: You can't fully revel in your overwhelming geekiness because everything you read says gaming on Linux sucks. So you keep Windows around for games in the hope that you will finally get invited to a LAN party. More